I kinda like role-playing...

I remember when I was a kid, I usually play alone in the house. I'm the youngest person in the house and my brother is a boy, not my typical playmate since if we do play, we end up playing wrestling! To think about it, it was pretty awesome! As a kid I had no playmates. Let's just say my parents were scared to get me scarred by the outside world so they tried so much to protect me from the outdoors. It didn't work all the time since I usually sneak out, but when it did worked out, my day as a child was not that bad.

Since I'm alone and quite lonely as a kid, I would say, I ended up playing alone, with the mirror and my stuffed toys. My imagination was so great that my parents kinda got scared once coz I talk to myself so much it freaked them out!!! But anyway, being alone made me become a person who had a great imagination. And at that point in my life, I LOVED ROLE-PLAYING! Even though I was playing with my brother, role-playing was still a vital part since we reenact the scenes we "hear" about the WWE!!! I try to tackle him down like The Undertaker and my brother would try to bring me down like Hulk Hogan. I know its pretty much weird! I usually play with my toys and I act like I'm a teacher, a nurse, a doctor and even a mom!

This role-playing came to my mind coz Rashid and I just thought about making an igloo just now and we're planning to act like eskimos for even a day! I know it sucks but it made me realize something. Everyone loves role-playing!!! Its like a way people express themselves. To me and Rashid, acting like eskimos is like discovering other cultures and we express our interest in that field. As a child, I did role-playing because I had no playmates so I expressed to my dolls what I want to be in the future!

How many times in my life have I done role-playing or even think of doing it, TOO MANY! I tried to be this person to fit in and I tried to be that person to fit in. But you know what, I realized that no matter how many times I act like somebody else and play their role, we can't be completely honest since we're not being honest with ourselves. I've tried so many times to fit in and I end up in the wrong side (ok, this was my experience in Kenya). I tried to hide my real attitude so that people will accept me. I defied my principles and beliefs so others can accept me. Being a role-player is like being untrue to myself and I end up hating myself. Then one day, in a bonfire, a question was asked for me to answer. The question was "Who do you like?" and at this time there were like more or less 300 people around waiting for my answer, and the person I like, who is Rashid was sitting next to me. I asked myself, should I be a role-player acting like I like somebody else or someone who'd say "Yo, I dont like nobody!" or should I just be true to myself for once? Then for some reason I decided to be myself and blurted out (in a shy and modest way) "I like Rashid!". At that point, I ended being a role-player when it comes to the real me! Now I show people who I really am and hey, its they're problem if they got a problem with my attitude, at least Im not posing as a person who I really am not. I know its hard but being true to myself is like the best thing I have done for myself and I've never felt better than this...lol